STRATEGIES FOR BEING AN ALLY TO PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM YOU

* Special Thanks to Doralyn Folse for this information!

1. Get in touch with the place in you where you don't really want to hurt people who are different from you.

2. Assume that you are good enough and smart enough to be a really good ally.

3. Don't let yourself think that it's not your business if someone is getting hurt.

4. Realize that every single person in the other group wants you to be their ally, is hoping that you will be.

5. If it doesn't look like someone wnats you to be their ally, remember that it may just be the result of how many times they have been hurt.

6. Also remember: everybody is doing the best that they can. You are. They are. So don't make your support dependent on them changing or doing anything different.

7. Think how YOU would really like to be treated by others, what it would look like if you really felt respected. Use that as a guide for how to treat people in the other group.

8. Realize that you have a lot to learn from the experience of people who are different from you. You will need this information if you are going to work effectively in the world.

9. Don't forget that you are smart, especially about your own experience. Don't pretend to be stupid, or not see what is going on.

10. Recognize that groups of people who have oppressed in society have a long history of resistance to this oppression. Their stories of resistance can be very inspiring to you as you think about places you need to resist.

11. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, or say something that might seem foolish to someone. Remember that you are at least trying to change injustice, not just following the crowd.

12. Don't try to stop being who you are, and don't try to be like people in the other group in order to be liked by them. Just be yourself - that's the best.

13. Don't expect people to say thank you for being their ally. If you're doing it because you believe in justice and fairness, not because you want praise, then you can take pride in your actions, no matter what anybody says or doesn't say.

Reference:

Rhodes, Anne, CREATING CHANGE 1999 Building Anti-Racist Organizations